On Saturday I got there so early that the garages did not have any parking deals so I just parked in the Convention Center garage knowing I’d pay a lot. But whatever! Sunday will be free parking so that will even things out. I got my beautiful green Minion (That is what the volunteers were called) T-Shirt and much desired Minion credential lanyard.
New Minions were taken on a tour ( some of us took it twice!) and I met many wonderful fellow Minions. We were having some great conversation fueled by the ThinkGeek caffeine filled treats when Canadian Jason came in and declared that he needed 20 Minions for the Media room. Count ‘em, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 ,19 and 20! He took us down to the Media room and we were given assignments. 4 of us were assigned to William Shatner’s line!
The Shat! Well his line was different from all the others in that you needed to first purchase a $70 ticket, then get back in line once you had your ticket. This meant there were two lines, side-by-side in the same snaking line barrier. His line was huge and I was at the front. No time to try to amuse the crowd as this one was all business! He had more staffers and helpers than any other media guest. The lovely Claire Kramer was right next door and let me just say she was a lot easier on the eyes than the Shat! He comes out to the roar of the crowd and starts to sign stuff. Not a lot of chatter with the fans, and no handshakes bar one guy who I saw that got one. It’s possible this was a staffer, but possibly a lucky fan! His line had a lot of strange folks in it. Many were totally silent, did not smile or give much eye contact. Kinda like Shatner himself! One fellow had 3 big boxes. He paid $210 for 3 autographs and what he had was a very nice looking brass and crystal 3D chess set from the original series, a die-cast large size model of the original Enterprise (I also own this it was a gift from my Mom years ago – it is from the Franklin Mint people), and a large model of the original Enterprise bridge set. I helped him unpack these and had to let others in line past him as he was taking forever! At one point Brent Spiner and Jonathan Frakes pop out from behind his curtain to say hi. This makes the crowd go insane! I was worried a riot would break out! A zillion pictures were taken of this and I assume they are now on the Internet.
All in all his line was fast and crazy! Just how I like it!
After Shatner I was noticed the Photo-op line was a touch out of control with Green Coats (Seattle Convention Center Staff) trying to manage it. A staffer asked me to take over wrangling it so I jumped in. Shannon, one of the ECCC staffers, was also busy trying to create order from chaos in that line and in the lines that lead to the photo-op room. She kept me abreast of who was currently in the room taking pictures so I could yell this info and bring anyone who wanted that photo-op to the front. This did not, surprisingly enough, create any angry people when they saw people being led to the front. It helped to explain that the photo-op they wanted was soon to expire so it was necessary to bring them up front. Of course this is rewarding lazy stragglers who didn’t bother to get in line until the last few minutes, but I didn’t point that out…
I was responsible for personally selling at least 1 $110 buffy triple shot. That sounds either like an expensive espresso or something rather pornographic involving Sarah Michelle Gellar! It was a picture with James Marsters, Clare Kramer & Nicholas Brendon. They were soon to start and Shannon told me to find anyone who wanted that shot. I went up and down yelling “Buffy triple shot! Anyone wanting the Buffy triple shot? Only $110!”. One teenage gal looked at her dad and asked if she could get that. He tells her that it would eat up the budget for just about everything else. She begged him and he relented. I took them to the front and that was one very happy teenage girl! I wish I could have seen her photo! Shannon and I wrangled those lines until the very last. I was also suggesting to people that if they wanted a ticket to the next Shatner signing, it would behoove them to do it now as there was no line.
After that I was tasked with guarding the entrance to the back area that leads to the autograph tables. This is where the celebs come and go, so it was important that no con goers wandered in there. I assumed this would be nice, quiet and dull, but no. Standing there I became an instant information booth to anyone wandering by. Where are the bathrooms? Where do I pickup my photo? Where are the panels? How do I get outside? Is Wil Wheaton coming back tomorrow? Where is the line for (whoever’s) photo-op? How much are autographs? Where is an ATM? Can I just go up to say hi? How do I get to be a volunteer next year? What are you doing just standing there? That was the most popular question.
I was having a peaceful zen like moment just standing there like one of those British guys in the tall furry hats who guard the palace when Shannon comes racing down and says “He’s coming!”. The Shat is about to exit the building! We stood there along with a fan who was hoping to snap a photo and then we were treated to the back of his head as he passed by, turned towards the freight elevator and disappeared! I believe there are several photos of the side or back of his head taken by Staff and Minions. Checking his Twitter feed there is no mention of the ECCC at all whatsoever. I will not speculate at all on what that may or may not mean.
Also whilst standing guard duty who comes by but none other than Clare Kramer and Nicholas Brendon. I don’t watch Buffy. I don’t know who they are. They are not wearing any credentials and I almost did the talk to the hand gesture! But at the last minute I recognized Clare so I didn’t! She is stunningly beautiful in real life and I was literally stunned for a few seconds just looking at her! Breaking up my dream-like state in which I was immersed in the gentle breeze of Clare's sizzling hot countenance Brendon looks at me and says “Sausage!” Perplexed I realized this was supposed to be a password. Not liking that one I suggested Snausage, the old dog treat. He laughs but continued to yell Sausage! each time he went by! I guess I get to claim that I had Nicholas Brendon offer me his sausage!
But even though The Shat had left the building, his legacy remained! Froggy (the picture guy) was only able to print out the photo’s so fast from the last photo-op Shatner had. Several people were not coming back the next day so returning Sunday for the photo was not an option. Some were leaving the country or the state so there would be no way at all to get the photo later. So that meant they had to hang around and wait for the picture. The 501′st Legion, the Star Wars costume guys who have the most excellent Empire costumes ever, were afraid to leave with regular people and kids still buzzing around. The armor and the fully working R2D2 is very expensive to just leave with con goers around. They wanted to know if someone could guard it until everyone left and I said I would. They were so grateful that they told me I could have any picture I wanted from them for free! I got a photo of myself with the best Darth Vader I have seen outside of the movies get me in a chokehold from Episode IV. Sweet!
We did not get the all-clear until around 10:15pm! Not sure when Carly and the office staff finally left, but it was late! I get to the parking garage and insert my ticket. It says I owe them $26! I felt violated and the thing did not even buy me dinner first! This got a laugh from the people behind me so it was worth it
On Sunday I was expecting it to be all mellow and quiet. Nope. Jason comes down and gets us media room Minions to come on down again. This time I am line wrangling for Jonathan Frakes and Minion Mike is right next door with Brent Spiner. The rules are gone over many, many times: $30, cash only. $30 per autograph. Posters are $50. No flash photography.
No photos taken past the white line. No photos at the table. Please have your item ready to be signed. Do not fondle Mr. Frakes’ beard. ATM is available behind you if needed. Please do not try to cut right over to Mr. Spiner’s line. Please exit this way.
I suppose I could have just stood there like a lump, but I decided to try and warm up the crowd instead. Now I am not a professional comedian or warm up guy, so it was a great compliment when one guy asked me “Is it your job to entertain us?” I said “If I am then yes. If I am not entertaining you then I am simply screwing around.” Frakes comes out and the crowd….does nothing. So I yell “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jonathan Frrrrraaaakkkkeeeessss!!!!!” and that gets the crowd going.
One highlight was a young lady who was simply trembling with anticipation. I told her to relax, it will be alright, but if I can tell you something…HE IS RIGHT THERE!!”. That actually made her laugh and calm down. She totally lost it though when actually face to face with Frakes. He offers her a tissue and as she is crying and telling him how big a fan she is she tells Frakes that Data was her favorite character. This makes Spiner, his line, both Mike and myself, the staffers for Frakes and Spiner and Frakes’ line erupt in howling laughter! Frakes breaks the rules and allows her to take a posed photo at the table. This would be the first time I had to give the “A dangerous precedent has been set people! Please do not expect a photo-op at the table based on this incident!” in the most droll Ben Stein-like manner that I can. When she makes it around to Spiner she is fully composed. Spiner then asks in an annoyed tone as to why exactly if he is her favorite he gets no tears but Johnny did. She promptly breaks down again and Spiner seemed a bit sorry and now he is offering her a tissue!
Another cool moment was a young woman who I saw had what appeared to be a school textbook in her hand. She told me how Star Trek TNG had inspired her to go to school to become an astrophysicist. Her story was detailed and told her to make sure to tell all of that to Jonathan. Well for Spiner she was joined by her friend from school. Brent asks them both “Are all astrophysicist students as hot as you two?” They reply “Yes!”. Somehow I doubt that.
Those two guys were like grade school kids constantly trying to one up each other and poke fun at each other. They were so loud in fact that John Noble, who was right next door to Spiner, seemed to take issue with this. When Noble had wrapped up and left, Frakes makes the comment mimicking Noble’s accent “Oh my those Star Trek boys are so loud it is hard to concentrate!” He then says, “Concentrate on what? Signing your name??”
Of course I feel for the Staffer who was with Frakes. She had to be the bad cop about photos, but it is no help when Frakes decides to allow it for this person or that. Well really only for the cute ones. Case in point, two 20-somethings dressed as superheroes whose power is to make you think “Holy shite!” sashay up to Jonathan. “Hell-o Superheroes!” he says. Of course they have a camera and they are now being offered a picture by Jonathan. Minion Mike is now taking a posed photo-op for them with Frakes. There is simply no controlling this guy, but of course we have to be the bad guys! I give the “A dangerous precedent is being set…” speech again. But one fellow moves up to me from the middle griping about why they get a picture at the table and they cannot. I tell him “Sir, neither of us are 20-something hotties dressed in skin-tight spandex. We do not get that sort of consideration.” His wife nearly falls over laughing and his annoyance is diffused. Whew! Possible ugly situation resolved.
Also interesting to note that Spiner does not like to shake hands. Instead whenever someone wanted to shake his hand he would offer up a fist (as in a fist-bump move) and say RESPECT! Then as you bumped fists with him he would say BOOM SHAKA LAKA!
At some point they both go off to do their panel. I saw some of it on YouTube. It was great. I wish I had been working it! Well after that they come down to do photo ops, the real ones, not the ones cute 20-somethings in spandex get at the autograph tables. I get in line to get my own photo with them. They told us to remove the volunteer shirt and credentials when doing personal things, but I wanted the shot in full gear!
As you can see I got it, but being in full gear meant I had to work the line while being in it! A tad surreal.
After Brent had left (he had to rush to catch a plane) Frakes was just about done as well. There was this one person left who was not so quick to leave. She was wearing a white wedding dress, a white spiky hair wig, and her face was painted half black half white. She was speaking out loud to herself in a very odd manner. So much so that it caught the attention of Frakes and I could hear that him and the staffer were discussing her and how she was not leaving the area. Suddenly she make a beeline towards Jonathan. Mike and I form a Minion shield blocking access to Frakes. She comes really close to us and continues ranting. After a few tense moments she starts to wander off. I make the blunder of saying “Thank you for coming” in an attempt to give a clue that it’s time to leave now! Well she turns and says “There is no thank you needed! What they have done for all of us is thanks enough and how can anyone like me even accept a thank you from the likes of them and really that would be very presumptuous of me and I won’t accept it…” I tuned her out as she finally made it out of earshot. I’m glad she was just weird and not violent as I really do not need any scratch marks on this face!
My final act as an ECCC Minion was to help Frakes’ manager pack up a bunch of artwork that was for sale. It was a gallery of lithographs and prints, some autographed, some as low as $10. It seems that celeb managers have their fingers in all sorts of pies! I helped crate up the art and then haul it over to the Sheraton hotel next door. Long walk that was! After I came back they cut me loose and the Minions went out for drinks!
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