My first duty was to take tickets at the midnight screening of A Clockwork Orange at the SIFF cinema. Two other volunteers were there and all 3 of us took tickets and herded the folks into the correct door. A few minutes before showtime Malcolm McDowell pops in with around 5 handlers! I had brought my copy of Caligula on Blu-Ray to see if I could get an autograph. Well a few minutes later the handlers all wander off leaving Mr. McDowell just standing there like an idiot! So I slide over with the artwork and Sharpie in hand and politely ask for an autograph. He was more than happy to oblige and the 3 of us volunteers got to chat with him while the staff figured out where they needed him. He gave the small crowd (maybe 30 people) a rousing speech about the film then left to his hotel room shortly after it started. I hung around for the whole film as I had never seen A Clockwork Orange on the big screen!
The next day started out like any other. I checked into the volunteer room to see where my assignment would be. Kimberly, the person in charge AKA Queen Zombie, was there and very busy! Of course she was being pestered by everyone wanting to know what to do as there were no other staffers in the room. At this she yelled “OK EVERYONE OUT!” (it was a pretty small room). I’ve been around long enough to know when the boss says to beat feet, don’t take it personally, just do it!
Outside I bumped into Rose, one of the staffers. She asked me and another volunteer if we were free. Yep we sure are, so she tells us to follow her. She leads us across the Con floor over to a back room. Who is sitting in there but none other than Bruce Campbell himself!
He had asked for 2 volunteers to come to him so he could train us to be his picture takers in his autograph line. He goes through the spiel with us and I tell him that we got this. After he did his panel on stage he went over to his autograph table and we were on! His rules were simple, no pictures taken at the table by the fans. That is what we were for. His theory was that this gives the maximum amount of time to chat with the fan as they are not fumbling with a camera trying to compose a shot.
He was also nice enough to autograph my Evil Dead DVD cover:
All was going smoothly when one woman who had this expensive camera rig refused to let me touch her camera. I made it clear that there would be no picture then and moved on to the next one in line. Well she takes one anyways in flagrant violation of my mandate not to! The nerve!!! Well this did not sit well with Mr. Campbell. The next thing I hear is “You! Come here! What the hell was that!” confused I quickly realized she had taken an arm’s-length photo. “I told him that she did not allow me to touch her camera, but he then said that I should not have left her to her own devices. “Yes Mr. Campbell sir! It will not happen again sir!”. I had to be all fascist and completely humorless about Da Rulez at that point! It did not happen again.
After that the Ladies of The Evil Dead (yes, that was their official title!), Betsy Baker, Ellen Sandweiss (Still a hottie after all these years!) and Sarah York were going to lunch.
They asked me to make sure their stuff was safe. Oh boy! Guard duty! Well the life of a volunteer is hardly all glamour, so I had no problem with this. At least it meant I could sit down! I heard via inter-volunteer hearsay that one of them was quite the demanding sort asking in a somewhat stern tone that the volunteer assigned to her fetch her a latte or a water or a snack, or to crawl under the table to plug-in her laptop, bring her a magazine, etc. etc. Well once again, what we sign up for is not all high fives and flirty looks from cute celebrities! Sometimes you are little more than unpaid, overworked and sometimes underappreciated labor.
After a thrilling ride sitting and guarding their photos and posters and stuff, succesful in resisting the urge to flip open Ellen Sandweiss’ phone to get Sam Rami’s personal phone number, they returned and I went over to the SIFF Cinema next door as I was told to hook up with Rose after Bruce came back from lunch and continue my duties.
To my surprise we (Rose, myself, Bruce’s manager and Bruce himself!) got into an SUV and we drove over to the EMP for the Evil Dead wedding Bruce was going to perform!
We arrive at the EMP and go via the Bat-Cave entrance into the innards of the EMP (the Seattle Experience Music Project) and make our way to the infamous Blue Room. Bruce was at the EMP to perform an actual wedding for a couple dressed as zombies. Ted Rami was the Emcee. I poured Mr. Campbell a drink and he signed about 100 posters “How many of these goddamned things are there?!” I have one! Anyways he was learning the vows the couple wrote, changed it up a bit and then the wedding party arrived.
He took pictures with them and then I left with all other staff and Minions to help set up the room for the wedding. For $100 a couple could come and be in the audience. You had to be a couple and both in costume.
After the wedding Bruce did a mass vow renewal for the crowd. Then he said that he would take a photo with everyone there! At first Ted Rami was taking cameras and taking pictures. I didn’t notice this and Rose then grabbed me and said “Don’t make him take the pictures!” Indeed! So I jump up and tell Ted that I can take the pictures and that for at least tonight he need not be Bruce’s slave anymore! Ok well maybe I left that last part out. I love Ted! He is so cool, and at Bruce’s panel they both hyped up the whole attitude that Ted is his Robin to Bruce’s Batman.
As these photos exist, I am pretty certain the whole experience was not a sleep deprived caffeine induced hallucination.
Sunday! Well the last day of the Con I first had to open up around 150 boxes of Magic card decks and set them up at the intro table. Doing this with me was a lovely volunteer and after that we were placed at will-call. Mostly the chatting was about Steampunk and LARP, two things she was very much into. Most people didn’t do will-call for Sunday so it was slow and pretty quiet.
At one point I noticed a very tall man with a grey ponytail and big glasses go past us to the outside. Yikes that was George Romero!
I quickly got out my Night Of The Living Dead DVD artwork out with a Sharpie. As he came back I put on the most pathetic look possible and said simply “Mr. Romero!” while holding up the DVD cover and the Sharpie. He thought about it for a second then said, and I quote, “What the hell”, and bent down to sign the cover. He is a giant! He asks me my name and at this point his handler must have noticed that she lost him. She pops over, sees him and says in a humorous manner that he is making her look bad! He tells us that he was guilty of giving his staffers the slip a lot to go out and smoke. I’ve heard he smokes like a chimney!
After will-call I am told that the volunteer helping at Malcolm McDowell’s table needs to leave. I take over and hang out with Malcolm at his table while he plays a game on his phone.
A few pictures were shot then he was needed for a panel. More guard duty as I guarded his photos and stuff. After that his manager comes over and asks me to help him in boxing up Malcolm’s stuff and Romero’s stuff.
This is where I learned that one should not give a celebrity a gift. I read on his Twitter page that Wil Wheaton kept a knit doll of him that a fan made for him. Ok so something unique and cool perhaps, but most stuff is going to be tossed. No celeb would have the room for everything given to them and unless you are really tight with said celeb I would think twice about spending money or working hard on a gift for them!
I was able to save a few books and things that were headed for the trash! After everything was boxed up Johnny Mischief-Cancer (he happened to be wandering by and was snagged by the manager) and I got to haul these rather heavy boxes, by hand mind you, across the street and up a block to the hotel. I am no cut Adonis of a guy and if Johnny was tired one can guess how dead I was at the end of that ride!
After that it was cleanup then the after party at the Red Door! Drinks and a screening of AMC’s The Walking Dead was sweet. Although you could not hear a word from the show as the ambient noise was so loud.
I look forward to ZombCon 2011! Sam Trammel from True Blood will be there!!!
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